NY WEDDING RABBI LEV HERRNSON​

Planning Your Destination Jewish Wedding

As this question seems to come up a lot, I've decided to re-post this blog entry from 2015. Please read on to learn about these two important documents! A civil marriage license and a ketubah serve different purposes but yes, you need both. The civil marriage license registers your marriage as legally valid and binding in the eyes of state and federal law. Participation in your spouse’s health care plan, distribution of benefits, filing of taxes, survivorship, and other ma

I recently migrated my blog entries to a new platform and subsequently discovered that this entry had over 5,000 views! I guess it's high time I re-post this one! Let's roll back the meter on this entry and start counting again. Read on for the particulars about who can sign your ketubah. (And if the entry is helpful, please "like" it!) Your ketubah is your wedding contract. “Ketubah” derives from the Hebrew meaning “committed to writing.” Commiting a wedding agreement to

Ani l'Dodi v'Dodi Li So many others have "reprinted" this particular entry of mine that it's high time I present here once again. (First published in April 2015) Source and Meaning of the Verse Ani l’dodi v’dodi li—“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,” is excerpted from “The Song of Songs” (Chapter 6, Verse 3a). This verse, commonly associated with Jewish weddings and Ketubot (plural of Ketubah—the Jewish wedding contract), represents half of one verse among the eight

Things to do and things not to do when planning your Jewish wedding

Like the marriage you are about to consecrate, choosing a ketubah is an exercise in tradition, creativity, personal preference, and sometimes, it’s just a matter of love at first sight. Your ketubah—that is, your Jewish marriage contract, should be an expression of your personal tastes (with respect to the artwork) and your aspirations for your life together (as represented by the text as it appears in Aramaic or Hebrew, and English). Choosing a ketubah also presents the op

While every wedding is magical, festive and beautiful, there’s something special about a wedding that takes place outdoors. Flowers, shrubbery, manicured lawns and a green forest as a backdrop, together with a refreshing breeze and a sunset in the distance all add to the majesty of the ceremony. Still, an outdoor wedding is vulnerable to changes in weather that can undo months of planning. My comments below address concerns that are specific to a planning an outdoor Jewish

The chuppah is the single most recognizable symbol of a Jewish wedding—other than breaking a glass at the conclusion of the ceremony. What is a chuppah? A chuppah is a temporary structure similar to a canopy, under which the Jewish wedding rituals take place. The word “chuppah” is derived from the Hebrew meaning “cover.” The bride and groom, under the sheltering presence of the chuppah, but in full view of family and friends, enter the covenant of marriage. There’s lots o

Source and Meaning of the Verse Ani l’dodi v’dodi li—“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,” is excerpted from “The Song of Songs” (Chapter 6, Verse 3a). This verse, commonly associated with Jewish weddings and Ketubot (plural of Ketubah—the Jewish wedding contract), represents half of one verse among the eight chapters of The Song of Songs, a short book of poetry in the Bible attributed to King Solomon. But why is ani l’dodi v’dodi li associated with Jewish weddings? W

Many couples choose to distribute a wedding program or booklet at the onset of their Jewish wedding ceremony. Do you need a booklet at your wedding? No, certainly not. Might you be glad that you chose to compile and hand out a program at your wedding? Your guests might greatly appreciate your efforts if you choose to do so. Why might a Jewish wedding program be welcome? A wedding program provides something for guests to read while they wait for the ceremony to start; Guests

At a traditional Jewish wedding, after the processional but before the actual start of the ceremony, the bride will circle clockwise around the groom seven times. Circling, or “hakafot” in Hebrew, is one of a number of public affirmations performed to attest to one’s consent, in this case, to be married. Other publically observable acts involved in the wedding ceremony include the exchange of rings, sipping of wine from a Kiddush cup, acceptance of a handkerchief or napkin

Yichud means “singularity” or “consolidation.” In the context of the Jewish wedding, however, yichud means “seclusion” and refers to 10 to 15 special minutes immediately after the ceremony. As you make your way out of the room where the ceremony took place, Jewish tradition dictates that you scamper off to a private room—usually where the bride got dressed and primped prior to the ceremony. There you’ll remain in yichud—undisturbed seclusion, for a short time. In yichud,

Like the marriage you are about to consecrate, choosing a ketubah is an exercise in tradition, creativity, personal preference, and sometimes, it’s just a matter of love at first sight. Your ketubah—that is, your Jewish marriage contract, should be an expression of your personal tastes (with respect to the artwork) and your aspirations for your life together (as represented by the text as it appears in Aramaic or Hebrew, and English). Choosing a ketubah also presents the op

A civil marriage license and a ketubah serve different purposes but yes, you need both. The civil marriage license registers your marriage as legally valid and binding in the eyes of state and federal law. Participation in your spouse’s health care plan, distribution of benefits, filing of taxes, survivorship, and other matters are all contingent on you having this document. Your ketubah, on the other hand, certifies that you are married in the eyes of the Jewish community

After having invested weeks or even months to painstakingly select just the right ketubah, take care not to ruin it. The pen you use to sign your name might contain ink that will bleed, run or even feather, ruining your art piece right before your eyes. Some ketubah sellers provide you with a pen and even a scrap of the same paper from which your ketubah is made. You can then test out the feel of the pen and also be assured that the ink won’t ruin the document. If your ketu

A major lifecycle event like a wedding gets everyone’s attention; everyone wants to feel special at such an important event, and sometimes, family members and other guests will want a “piece of the action.” Who actually gets to participate in the wedding is up to you, the bride and groom. Still, knowing what honors are available can be helpful when making your considerations. Here’s a list of honors that can be assigned, some familiar and still others that perhaps you didn

Your ketubah is your wedding contract. “Ketubah” derives from the Hebrew meaning “committed to writing.” Commiting a wedding agreement to writing is a Jewish legal practice dating back 2,000 years and, as such, it's a prime example of the progressive nature of Judaism! A ketubah can be as simple as a text on a 8 ½” x 11” sheet of paper, or as elaborate as a custom, hand-calligraphered piece of art to be framed and then displayed in your new home. In either case, the follow

Your rabbi will ask you to bring a bottle of kosher white wine to the wedding. No, s/he’s not planning on drinking a few l’chayims with you. The wine is for the blessings under the chuppah (wedding canopy). It doesn’t need to be the best vintage, just white and kosher. Why white wine? During the ceremony, if the wine spills, splashes or splatters, and a drop or two lands on your dress, your gown won’t be ruined. Why kosher wine? This is your big, Jewish day. It’s a Je

Lots of questions typically arise concerning wedding rings. Let’s be clear: only in traditional Jewish circles must your ring must be made of gold, be unadorned, round and simple. You see, the wedding ring is viewed in the traditional Jewish context as a form of “consideration.” Consideration is something of value given by one or both parties that induces them to enter into an agreement, in this case an agreement to marry. So in a traditional Jewish context the value of t

A couple recently challenged the traditional Jewish wedding vows. Recited during the ring exchange under the chuppah (wedding canopy), the groom makes this vow to his bride: Harei at mekudeshet li betaba’at zo k’dat Moshe v’Israel—typically translated as, "By this ring, you are consecrated to me (as my wife) in accordance with the laws of Moses and the people of Israel." Rachel and Matthew had a visceral reaction to this traditional vow. "He's not going to say that to me.