Passive & Active "Tents"
- Rabbi Lev Herrnson
- Oct 6
- 2 min read
Your Jewish wedding will take place under the wedding canopy or “chuppah,” a tent-like structure. What happens under the chuppah is up for discussion with your rabbi, but the Jewish tradition has a few things to say about it. You can just show up and have the rabbi do it all, or you can show up and take a more active role! But why “tents”? Because “tense” is the one thing we don’t want you to feel under the chuppah on your wedding day, so choose chuppah activities that respect your sensibilities!
The degree to which you take a passive or a more active role under the chuppah is contingent on the degree of personalization you’re willing to undertake. The two of you could opt to make personal vows to each other by reading them aloud under the chuppah. I have a special process to assist both bride and groom in drafting beautifully complementary and balanced vows so that, when your spouse-to-be hears them for the first time, they will swoon with love, joy and happiness. We can speak more about vows when we meet—and, of course, sharing personal vows requires that you’re at least a little bit comfortable with public speaking.
Concerning the wedding ring(s), there are a few options with respect to the formulaic recitation that typically takes place between the bride and groom. The groom generally recites the following in Hebrew: “By this ring, you are consecrated to me in accordance with the laws of Moses and the people of Israel.” If it’s a double ring ceremony, the bride might choose to recite the same thing as the groom or she might to opt for something different in Hebrew, such as: “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine” (Hebrew Bible: Song of Songs 5:8). Or bride and groom can recite the same verse “By this ring…” to each other and then, together, recite, “I am beloved’s…”. It’s up to you; let’s talk!
Circling is another familiar aspect of the Jewish wedding. Just prior to the ceremony under the chuppah, but after the processional, the bride will circle clockwise around the groom seven times. Circling, or “hakafot” in Hebrew, is one of a number of public affirmations performed to attest to one’s consent, in this case, to be married. As an alternative to the bride circling around the groom, the bride and groom can both do so in a variety of combinations. Additionally, parents may accompany their children as they circle their spouse-to-be.
We’ll meet in person just a few weeks prior to your wedding to review all these options and rehearse those more active options that you select. This way, you’ll feel comfortable and have a loving and joyful memory of your wedding ceremony!
Mazal tov!
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